When Is The Right Time For Baby #2?

The biggest question on every new mom's mind. Or at least in seems that way based on every mommy Facebook group and even amongst personal friends. Unfortunately, the answer will be different for everyone and can range anywhere from never (like for my parents) to 12 years after baby #1 (like for my husband's parents). But, at least for me, knowing that this question is thought by other moms helps me feel better somehow!

I think most things we think and do as mothers have us criticizing ourselves in one way or another. Should I do this? Should I feel this way? Should I be thinking that? Before I was even married I had my whole life planned out - I would get married at 22, have a baby at 24, and then more babies at 26, 28, and 30. It's actually embarrassing to admit that now, just goes to show how naive I was back then! I am fully on board with two kids max right now (which was my husband's thinking all this time of course) and while I did get married at 23 and have Avery at 25, it's been less straightforward as to when we should have our second then I imagined it would be. And at times I've felt like an oddball when feeling scared of brining another life into this world! 

Being a mom is hard! It's not like I didn't know that prior to having a baby, but motherhood is something that you can't fully grasp until you've experienced it (yes, even you who thinks you know it all, like pre-baby Katie did!). Pregnancy is also hard, and I can not imagine what it will be like with a toddler in tow. I know it is something I want and something I can handle, but that doesn't mean I'm not afraid of it!

As I mentioned above I've always liked the idea of having kids about 2 years apart. Avery is 16 months old now so... you do the math. The clock is ticking! I've been having so much anxiety around the idea of and timing of another baby for, honestly, the last 6+ months. I'm a planner, what can I say? Only in the last several weeks have I started to feel the little spark of baby fever again. Prior to that looking back at pictures of tiny baby Avery made me miss her being that small, not want another, different, baby. I keep reminding myself that once you're pregnant you have 9 months still. Avery was so different 9 months ago, and I know she'll be leaps and bounds from where she is now in another 9 months. I just don't know if she'll be easier or harder - ha!

Why am I writing this post? To be honest I don't really know - there's no conclusion I'm going to draw, and since I'm figuring it out myself right now too it's not like I really have advice to give. I just want you to know that if you're having similar thoughts you're not alone! I've also gotten encouragement from a few friends and followers when I've shared about this draft I've had going to the last 2 months that they would deeply relate to a post on this topic and that I should share it for others to read too.

The first time I saw a post on this topic in a mom group I felt, I don't know, just good. Like "hey! wow! I'm not the only person who isn't totally gung-ho about getting pregnant again! maybe I'm not an oddball after all!". So I'm hoping this post may do that for one of you too.

Full transparency - we are planning to try for another little nugget soon. I flip flop daily between excitement and scared sh**less. If anyone was ever wondering what keeps me up at night, now ya know! But Brian and I have had many long conversations, discussed the pros and cons of different age gaps, and more many many times and we always come back to about 2 years apart feels right for how we picture our family. Ultimately it's all up to God, and we fully trust in His plan for our family and only pray that we're making decisions that align with that vision.

Something I've been thinking a lot about lately is the purpose or mission of this blog. I want to share more realness. More heart to hearts, more conversations you would have with your best friend. I realized I didn't have many posts like that for a while and I want that to change! More on that another time, but I hope this post is a step in that direction!

As always I'd love to chat in the comments below, via Instagram DM, or email any time! Whether it's a question you have or just to chat, feel free to reach out. 

1 comment

  1. Such a tough call! For me, I wish we would have started earlier. Being 34 means the pressure is on, and while we were hoping to be trying again now, my health and medication I need to be on just won’t allow for it. I love that you’re a planner — me too! My husband and I love to plan. Like it’s a pastime or something for us lol. But after our tumultuous first pregnancy, second pregnancy and now having been sick for nearly two years I can say that nothing went according to our plan lol! I am sure that if you two have a baby #2 (or 3 or 4, etc.!) it will all happen in God’s perfect timing. I am looking forward to following your journey, and thank you for always posting about helpful topics that often go undiscussed. <3