Hi Friends,
As some of you have noticed I have been MIA from Instagram as of late. I wasn’t going to make some big deal out of it, I just planned to quietly drop off for a bit. However I have gotten several messages from the sweetest of friends making sure I’m okay so I felt I should address it. I guess when you go from posting every few hours to not at all people do notice.
Thank you so much to those of you who have reached out to check on me, the fact that you take time out of your busy lives to think of me and want to know how I’m doing warms my heart in more ways than I can say!
The typical me wants to just reply “oh yeah I’m fine, just taking a bit of a break!” Unfortunately I can’t honestly say that “I’m fine”.
The biggest reason for my time away from Instagram is because my family has some really heavy stuff going on. I absolutely hate vague statements like this but I’m just not in a place to share details. Maybe I eventually will, maybe not, I just can’t say for sure. I fully believe that everything is going to be okay, but we have some life altering things going on.
Since I’m not at the point of sharing details yet I didn’t want to just go on with my usual posting and pretending that everything is fine when it isn’t. That makes me feel gross and wouldn’t be fair to anyone who follows me. You know I am all about transparency and realness, so if I can’t 100% deliver on that I’m just not going to share anything.
I feel like this is coming across really dark, and it some ways it is, but also know that our day to day isn’t looking terribly different at this point. The girls are as amazing as ever and we spend our days sticking to the usual routine.
Georgia is just the light and joy of all of our lives, she is literally running around the house these days and getting into every single thing, climbing, eating things she shouldn’t, etc. She is the happiest, sweetest ball of energy.
Avery is always cracking us up with things she says and does. She is just so cute and wise beyond her years. Sometimes that three-nager attitude is out in full force but at least she is a strong little woman. She is working on reading and amazing us every single day with her brilliant mind!
All that to say that even with everything we are dealing with I could still be on Instagram, sharing life’s little moments and creating content and all that. But there is another reason why I’m not doing that.
I have really been struggling with anxiety. For the first time in my life I have been experiencing true anxiety and it is one of the worst things I have had to learn to deal with.
Instagram and social media in general had been getting to a toxic place for me. I would spend hours upon hours scrolling through Instagram stories and reels, reading Twitter, going through Facebook comments on random articles.
At first I justified it with getting inspiration for my own content, and being an informed person on what is going on in the world, etc. But when I finally decided to be honest with myself it was clear that all my screen time was not benefiting me in any way and was in fact hurting me.
So I deleted it all from my phone.
Instead I am focusing all of my energy on my family and on my faith. And I feel so much lighter! No more politics, no more comparing myself to others, no more chasing after the next brand deal or follower count. It’s refreshing.
I do miss connecting with you all, I really really do! And that is why I do plan to return to Instagram eventually, but I just haven’t quite figured out exactly when or how. I know when I do I will need it to look very different than it did before.
I’m taking a really deep dive into figuring out what I really want out of this blog and my social media. I don’t want to be just another account adding to the noise. I want to be making a difference, even in some small way, in my readers’ lives. I don’t have it figured out yet but I am praying every day for guidance on that.
So that is basically the update for right now. I’m not getting everything out exactly as I wish I could, it’s really hard to explain so many layers and feelings in one post. Sorry if it’s left you with more questions than answers, but I don’t have the answers yet myself! It is really hard to be vulnerable and share all this, but I feel like I’m doing you all an injustice if I don’t share the hard parts. By sharing our stories we give others permission to do the same.
If there is one thing I can leave you with today it’s this - be VERY careful with where you are focusing your attention. What are you watching, listening to, consuming? What are you letting affect your heart and mind?
When you step away from social media it can feel like you’re missing out. But after just a short time you will so clearly see that being ON social media has you missing out on so much more!
I love you guys and I hope you are all well and I can’t wait to connect with you again soon!
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